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I feel like giving up

DB due to low T (read zero) but won't do anything about it. Docs will happily start TRT but he won't even consider it. I (35FHL) love him (40MLL) but I'm not sure how much longer I can continue being rejected.

Sorry, just needed to get that out there.

75% Upvoted
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level 1

Does he understand that not addressing this problem is going to take at least a decade off his life?

level 2
Original Poster2 points · 5 months ago

Hmm. I will raise that point, thank you.

level 1

Has he told u why he won’t start?

level 2
Original Poster1 point · 5 months ago

Doesn't want more meds to take

level 3
40M/HL Bedroom recovering...maybe?5 points · 5 months ago

Yeah, that's a real cop out. It's not like it's some exotic substance he's putting into his body. It's just replacing in what should already be there naturally! Unfortunately, you can't help someone who won't even help themselves, when the solution is right in front of them.

level 3

What a lame excuse. It’s like saying “I love you dear but not enough to take a fucking pill”!!! You deserve better. There are better men out there. Go find one.

level 1


The two of you are in a relationship. Relationships require compromise and communication.

He refuses to budge on this issue.

You have to take it or leave it. He won't entertain any thoughts about doing something to fix this.

That leaves you with a decision to make. You've been forewarned so you've been forearmed about this situation with him.

I'm sorry you're in this situation ma'am.

Good luck

level 2
Original Poster2 points · 5 months ago

Thank you

level 1
1200 Days2 points · 5 months ago

We all have our struggles, but It is a huge red flag when our SO won’t address them. Im sorry.

level 1
M57, Married/DB2 points · 5 months ago · edited 5 months ago

You cant last forever. Quit now while you have greater market value. Logic wins.

level 2
Original Poster2 points · 5 months ago

That's what my head is telling me, but my heart...

level 3
M57, Married/DB3 points · 5 months ago


As bad as it is, look around you here. It will get worse.

level 4
Original Poster1 point · 5 months ago

I guess I am still holding on to hope.

But I know the is the beginning of the end.

level 3
<40 - VHLM - 3 years liberated2 points · 5 months ago

Love can be tough to overcome, but it can be done.

level 1

I think it is often the case, that people with low-t lose the ability and will to do anything about it, because they have low-t..

If he won't, and will not compromise, then you will have to lay out an alternative pathway which includes you leaving.

Relationships are give and take. Separating might wake him up enough to consider treatment. Hell, you can even get patches for this, and the injection is nothing at all.

level 1
38HLF DB Success Story2 points · 5 months ago

Wow..... okay, has your husband read up on the dangerous health effects of low testosterone in men? I mean jesus, he's gonna have such horrific osteoarthritis he'll be in a wheelchair later well if he gets that far before the obesity and heart disease kill him. And that's not even getting into the massive irreversible muscle loss, increased risk of suicide, depression, gynecomastia (developing breasts), increased risk of breast & prostate cancer, etc, etc, etc.

What he's doing is so dangerous it's absurd. Perhaps he needs a print out on Low-T from the Mayo Clinic website. If I were you I'd tell him, TRT or I leave. That's what I did..... and I meant it.

level 1

Low testosterone often results in a depressive state (to the point where it's regularly mistaken for depression in it's own right) which makes this a little less cut and dry for me. When you're depressed there are so many mental blocks to reaching out and actually taking the help you're being offered. It really is true that you can't help someone who's depressed until they're ready to help themselves. You don't need to stay for that day to arrive.

level 1

More meds to take? He can get an implant! Then he has NO meds to take!

level 1
F - Low tolerance for DB sophistry1 point · 5 months ago

He needs to address this issue because he is affecting his health both mental and physical. Look up the long term effects of low T.

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