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Posted byu/[deleted]5 months ago

Unsure about my trauma, if it’s worth telling others and if it is considered illegal

[deleted]

7 comments
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level 1

Your cousin can not be legally prosecuted, as he was a minor too. Well, this is a complicated issue. Part of why it is, is because sexual exploration and feelings by children towards other children are considered taboo and is never talked about, which we all can see why it can be a tricky subject. But, as far as I have talked to my now adult friends - we have all masturbated as children, some have even made out, or even touched genitals of their friends and what not. Some had a such bad thoughts about it and thought about themselves as monsters because of it, until they found out that it just a normal part of growing up that is not talked about, apparently. But, on the other hand I've never heard about straight up PIV penetration. Incest and PIV penetration at such age can be so traumatic even if it was "consensual".

I think that it's up to you to see if that anecdot of your life was just child's play or something you can't be at ease with. But, your constant thinking about it and wondering if it was traumatic or not, I think tells you something.

I was assaulted when I was a 13 yo child by a 39 yo man. Until a year or two ago, I was not considering it to be rape or traumatic - which clearly it was. It's eating me from the inside just now, ten years later. Mind can do powerful tricks to shield itself from stress.

Maybe talking about it with a close friend would help make out the nature of the event.

level 2
Comment deleted by user5 months ago(1 child)
level 3

I gave her two options to think about. I'm talking from my own experience. Some things I write off as childs play, and that one experience I was denying as trauma for such a long time and it's hunting me just now - ten years later. i don't want that to happen to OP. It's entirely up to her to decide if it was something to dismiss or not. I'm sorry it it came across like I was suggesting that it actually was undeniably a trauma - it was not my intention.

level 2

He can legally be prosecuted. It doesn’t matter if he is a minor. It all depends on what state t happened

level 1

My best advice is seek professional help like a therapist but since you're still a minor, they'll be obliged to report it. Though, I think you talk to your parents about it, just know it'll turn into a uphill battle. You'll need to be prepared for that which also why I suggest going to see a professional.

level 1

This happened to me too about 10 years ago with my cousin. We were all (like 6 of us cousins) sleeping over at their house and after the other fella asleep he asked if I wanted to try something so I said sure. It only happened 1 time, and I haven’t said a word about it. It doesn’t bother me at all, I also ended up in a weird step brother relationship after high school (not in anyway are we close to being related) but that only lasted about a year.

level 1

So, I work as a school psychologist in a middle school. I work with kids ages 11-14 (sometimes 15 year olds). They know about sex. They talk about it all the time. Unless he has some cognitive delays, he knew exactly what he was doing. He groomed you and sexually assaulted (raped) you. At 7 or 8 , you were legally unable to consent. He tried to repeat it a year later. He knew exactly what he was doing.

There are several things you can do. Tell your parents is one. Let them know what happened. I would do this if there are other younger children in your family who he had the potential to do this to. I would want the cycle to stop. Also, he could be a victim himself because someone was sexually abusive to him. You could also tell someone at school. Legally they would have to report this and the appropriate authorities would get involved.

If you keep it to yourself (which I don’t advise to do), please get some counseling. Since you are under 18, the counselor or psychologist is a mandated reporter and will also report it.

I would report this. He is needs help and they need to assess if he is a threat to children.

level 1

Every reaction depend to you, do what make you feel better. Do you have talk about it with your cousin? Maybe he could give you some explanation, he was older at the time. Anyway, wish you a great life.

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